Madam, former British PM Tony Blair’s memoir is out. And he’s written lot of bad things about his successor Gordon Brown”.

“How bad, minister Pranab?”

“In his 700-page memoir, called A Journey, Tony writes that Gordon was a political blackmailer, Gordon was bound to be a disaster as the British PM, Gordon’s tantrums forced Tony to take to drinking...”

“That’s why you ran to my house when I prefer eating pasta quietly?”

“I got worried about the possible Tony Blair effect”.

“What’s this ‘effect’?”

“In case, Sardar Monu reads this book, and writes a similar book when he leaves office... won’t it be bad for our Rahulbaba?”

“Come on, Pranab! Monu can write books only on GDP”.

“Still, madam.... I think we must not let Sardar Monu read this book”.

“How can we do that? We can’t stop him from buying Tony’s book”.

“We can ban the sell, purchase and receiving of Tony’s book here”.

“Okay, let’s call law minister Moily for his views on this”.

* * * * *

“So Moily, what do you think of banning Tony’s memoir?”

“Madam, banning book is as easy as idli-sambar. But, how to justify?”

“Let’s claim that the book will cause disharmony in India”.

“Madam, the book is all about Tony, Iraq, British politics... not us”.

“What about imposing taxes?”

“That’s on Pranabdada. Not me”.

“Yes, as country’s angry Finmin, I can do that. Tony actually got four million pounds in advance for the book. So, I will say that his book is like a foreign-made luxury sedan, and then impose a two-thousand per cent tax on the book’s price”.

“Madam, the point is that Monu shouldn’t get to write bad things”.

“But Moily, how do we do that?”

“We can make a law by which no serving or former PM, MP, CM, MLA and MLC can write any memoir”.

“But Moily, what if Monu writes a blog? Or pamphlet? Or something? Poems or songs maybe, like Atalji?”

“We will have more laws. And Pranabdada will levy heavy taxes on writing also”.

“Lovely! Have some pasta, Moily”.

“I will make things scary by linking any such writing with the great Official Secrets Act”.

“Yes... do all to protect my baba. But if Comrade Prakash opposes it?”

“Don’t worry, madam. He hates freedom of mind. I will tell that egoist fool that the new law will keep his ministers under control if they lose West Bengal to Mamata. And the prohibition will prevent Somnathdada from writing more books”.

“Good idea, Moily! But if Sushma yells at me to oppose the law?”

“I will shout back and scare her with good old Jaswant’s Jinnah fiasco”.

“Excellent, Moily. So get the law ready. But tell me Pranab, how much money Tony can make from his book? Six million pounds?”

“No idea. It’s flying off the shelves in UK. But Tony says, he will donate all the money to British Legion. He’s now a peace activist who also works on interfaith reconciliation”.

“Wow! Think of Narendrabhai becoming an interfaith peace activist...”

“He can wear any mask”.

 “We’ll see. But Pranab, first get me a copy of Tony’s memoir before you impose tax on reading as well”.