In a society where the woman is expected to fulfil religious responsibilities and keep alive the family tradition, while also meeting the ever-increasing demands of modern-day life, is it possible to strike a balance? Manasi Mathkar collects responses

So you have a puja to perform at home tomorrow and your business client calls you with some last-minute changes, which he wants you to incorporate in your proposal. You possibly can’t tell him it’s not doable, after all where’s the professionalism you take pride in! Yet being there for the family and attending rituals that are an integral part of our culture is something hard to ignore. In the present day and age, this is a common predicament faced by many working women where balancing priorities is a daily task.

Conflicting roads

Be it a working woman or a homemaker, the Indian woman is so steeped in culture and tradition that she cannot even think of putting aside her religious duties and responsibilities, which she is expected to fulfil. However, with increasing work demands and hectic family schedules, there is less time to follow elaborate age-old rituals such as reading granths and attending jagrans. Finding a way out from this tricky situation can either mean hurting the sentiments of the elderly or putting your space on hold!

Call it the outcome of women’s lib or simply changing times, young women these days opine that it is hard to follow rituals without thinking ‘because someone else is asking them to do so’. In any case, every small tradition has a lot of significance and purpose behind it in our culture. We need to understand those so as to appreciate and perform them wholeheartedly. Says Nikita Khadse, an IT professional, “I cannot blindly follow anyone. Things that I do need to make sense, they have to have some meaning.” Sentiments like these are shared by many. Feels Dr Amruta Ambekar, “I believe in god and do have faith in him. Even then rituals need to have some logic, some reasoning, so that they become easy to follow. Else, you just end up doing things because you are asked to.”

Parents are flexible

Fortunately for us, elders in the families are slowly coming to accept the fact that the New-Age woman has to prioritise her tasks at home. There are comparatively lesser pressures now and parents are flexible when it comes to following daily routines. “I do my regular prayers every morning and my family is fine with it. They understand my schedule,” says Amrita Chatterjee, a law professional. Agrees Ambekar, “My family may have expectations from me but more importantly, they don’t make it seem burdensome.” When the family accepts the woman’s agenda, there are lesser conflicts at home.

And how much of spare time does the modern woman actually have to sit around with voluminous religious texts and jaapmalas? Would she rather not spend those precious few moments with her kids or simply laze around at home? Would she rather not opt for a long drive with her hubby on a romantic monsoon Sunday afternoon or just freak out with her friends? 

Striking a balance

With increasing competition, there isn’t much choice but to put in your best at the office. That said, none of the women wish for discord in the family while achieving success at the workplace. They understand the need to inculcate the right values and set a good example in front of their children. They firmly believe in keeping the tradition and culture alive. They also respect the wishes and ideas of elders at home. So they need to strike a balance in the best possible way.

“Respecting your parents gets the biggest priority. As far as I am concerned, I have followed every single ritual that my mother-in-law has asked me to follow post marriage. I admit that I have had to squeeze in the time to do so but I also feel very satisfied because at the end of the day they are our parents and I shall do whatever it takes to make them happy. Fortunately, my in-laws are very progressive and appreciate how tough it is balancing things nowadays,” says Koel Mishra from the publishing industry.

Trupti Shetty, a media professional, shares her views, “If there is anything urgent coming up at work or there is an important business meeting, I cannot ignore it for a puja or so and put my career at stake. Then I would definitely make my parents understand. But if it is possible to adjust the schedules, then I would make sure that I’m at both the places. Just watching my mom smile makes the effort worth it.”   

It all boils down to prioritising your demands and figuring out how you can keep the ritualistic procedures simple minus the nitty-gritties or if you can find someone to help you out with the preparations, and so on. There is no running away from work and neither from life. The bottomline is to see how you can fit in everything to the best possible measure without stressing your life more.