The world celebrates Children’s Day next week. But for many homeless little ones, childhood isn’t synonymous with love, security and happiness. Arwa Janjali presents soulful stories of families that have rekindled the real meaning of childhood in the lives of these children.
Didi, you know just like me, many of my friends here are going to die very soon,” were the words of a six-year old boy at an orphanage for HIV-afflicted children during one of my visits there as a volunteer of a community service-based club. Those innocent words had conveyed to me a world of harsh reality. Not just AIDS-afflicted children, but hundreds of orphaned and abandoned children face such heart-wrenching realities every day. The stark cruelty of their circumstances often crushes the golden period of their lives — childhood.
Thankfully, with changing times, the stigma attached to orphans is slowly disappearing and many couples are coming forward to invite these children into their lives with open arms. Adoption is no more an option only for those who can’t conceive. On the contrary, more and more couples who already have a biological child are opting to adopt, purely with the intention of providing that ideal childhood, which every child rightly deserves. As Children’s Day approaches, we take a peek into the gifted world of some of these adopted kiddies and their families. We also take the opportunity to salute the big-hearted couples, who have fought all odds to bring in a ray of light in to the lives of these children.
For Shreya and Shripad Mahajan, their adopted daughter Hiya (which means ‘heart’ in Sanskrit) has been a very lucky child. “She is the cynosure of all eyes in our family and can get away with almost everything,” laughs Shreya. After one and a half years of rigorous paperwork, when the Mahajans were finally called to select a child by the adoption centre, a three-month-old girl was brought in, burning with fever. “As soon as I took her in my arms, she threw up on me. That time I realised how much she needed me. Also, her striking resemblance with Om, our biological son, somehow reconfirmed that she was meant to be with us,” she says. Hence, Hiya not only received a mother and father but also a brother, who is extremely protective of his baby sister. “The concepts of family blood and genes are so engrained in our system that we often forget that every child deserves to have the pure and unconditional love of a parent. And though the organisations and institutions may provide the orphans with all the necessary facilities and look after them, they cannot meet the emotional needs of the children,” explains Shreya.
For Meghna and Rishi Varma, Aaliyah, their seven-year-old-daughter has imbued a new meaning in their lives. “She was six and a half month old when we adopted her and it’s been a beautiful process of bringing her up ever since. The day we saw her for the first time, there was an instant connection between her and us. I still remember how her blank eyes were saying, ‘Take me home’. We had tears in our eyes,” recollects Meghna. Like Hiya, Aaliyah too has an older sibling to play and fight with. “After the birth of our son Aditya, we wanted to have a girl too. That’s how we thought of adoption and it’s unbelievable how Aaliyah looks so much like me and my mother-in-law,” she smiles. “It’s very easy to have your own child, but there are already many kids out there who need a home,” she continues. Today, Aaliyah knows that she is adopted and often asks Meghna about her biological mother. “She asks me if her elder brother came from my tummy, where did she come from? And I just tell her that she came from my heart,” says Meghna.
“One should always remember the aspect of social responsibility in our lives. There is someone somewhere working for your happiness and well-being and you have to pay it back in some way,” feels Vinayak Gadgil, who along with wife Aparna adopted Ananya. “The thought of adopting a kid was there way before marriage. Hence, after Om was born, we took the plunge. And frankly, today we don’t feel that we have done anything special. Both Om and Ananya are just the same for us. There is no special treatment given to any of the two. I just feel one thing, with no fault of theirs, why should these children suffer and remain without parents?” he wonders.
After meeting these beautiful families, one realises that the family needs the child as much as the child need the family. Aanandita came into the lives of Dr Vikrant and Anju Ingle and changed their world completely. “When we came in touch with the kids at the orphanage, we saw how much they needed love and security. There wasn’t a second thought then to adopt one. And till the day you don’t have a child at home, whether your own or adopted, you will never know how it feels,” feels Vikrant.
According to Maina Shetty from Bhartiya Samaj Seva Kendra (BSSK), the scenario of adoption has surely undergone a tremendous change in the last few years. “Firstly, the couples coming in for adoption now are very young, most of them being in their late 20s. They are educated and open-minded, hence there’s more scope for discussion and counselling. Secondly, a lot of couples don’t hesitate to adopt even special children or the ones with serious illnesses, due to advanced medical facilities,” she informs.
No wonder then that Alok and Mira Nair insisted on adopting Roshni, in spite of knowing that she had a hole in her heart. “We came to know after we had decided to take her. The institution did offer us another child, but we thought, if we would have given birth to her, would we have left her because of the illness? No. So how could we leave her now? Also, when we saw her, she was very ill and yet had a smile on her face. That really touched us,” Alok says.
Another example of a perfect family is Nikhil and Deepali Kumta and their daughter Keya. “We share such bonding and attachment that not a single moment have we felt that she is adopted,” says Deepali. Keya too knows that she’s adopted, but in the form of stories her parents tell her. “She loves listening to her own stories. Like we tell her how she was living with this maushi from whom we brought her one fine day, as we were looking for a daughter and she was waiting for a mom and dad to take her home. And just like her, there are still so many of her little friends out there who are waiting to go home,” she narrates.
And there are many families waiting to take them home too, says Maina Shetty. “It’s really great to know that there are atleast 100 families waiting to adopt from our centre at any given time,” she affirms. The change is heartening. “There are less reservations now in terms of religion and colour. Earlier couples were very skeptical about the background of the child, the caste, skin tone and much to one’s astonishment, they were averse to glasses as well. But today, we have crossed that boundary,” she adds.